She Was 9. She Used AI to Ask How to Get Along With Her Sisters. And Her Parent Shut It Down.

I came across a Reddit post this week that stopped me mid-scroll.

A parent had "caught" their 9-year-old using AI. The crime? She was asking for swimming tips, figuring out how to get along with her sisters, and writing fan fiction.

The parent's response was to shut it down, ban it entirely, and deliver a lecture on the environmental impact of data centres.

The comments section? Pure chaos. Teachers calling it "brain rot." People warning it was a "horror movie waiting to happen." A chorus of fear dressed up as wisdom.

And I sat there thinking: This is the moment. This is exactly the moment we keep getting wrong.

When Fear Becomes the Lesson

I want to be clear — I have enormous compassion for that parent. They were acting from love. They saw something unfamiliar, felt uncertain, and did what parents do when they're scared: they protected.

But here's what actually happened in that moment.

A curious, creative child — one who was independently problem-solving, exploring her interests, and trying to understand her own relationships — was told that her curiosity was dangerous. That the tool she'd found useful was something to be ashamed of. That the future is something to hide from, not lean into.

That's the lesson that will stick. Not the one about data centres.

The Neurodivergent Dimension

Something the Reddit thread largely missed: for many neurodivergent children, AI isn't a shortcut. It's a lifeline.

Processing social dynamics is genuinely hard when your brain is wired differently. Figuring out how to get along with your sisters — the kind of thing neurotypical kids might navigate intuitively — can feel like decoding a foreign language. Having a patient, non-judgmental space to think through those dynamics out loud? That's not cheating at life. That's finding a tool that works for your brain.

The same goes for special interests and creative exploration. Fan fiction isn't "brain rot." It's a child practising narrative, empathy, character development, and world-building — all through the lens of something she already loves.

We should be celebrating that. Not banning it.

What a Wonder Mindset Actually Looks Like

I talk a lot about the Wonder Mindset — the idea that curiosity, not fear, is the most powerful operating system a human can run.

And it starts young. Younger than we think.

When a 9-year-old reaches for a new tool to solve a problem she cares about, she's demonstrating exactly the kind of adaptive, creative thinking that will serve her for the rest of her life. The question isn't should she be using AI? The question is how do we help her use it well?

That means conversations, not bans. Curiosity, not lectures. Sitting down beside her and asking: "What were you working on? Can you show me?"

It means modelling the behaviour we want — approaching new technology with discernment and wonder, not reflexive fear.

The Real Environmental Conversation

And yes — data centres do have an environmental footprint. That's a real and important conversation to have.

But there's a time and a place. And "your child just used AI to ask how to be kinder to her sisters" is not it.

If we want our kids to grow into thoughtful, ethical users of technology, we have to meet them where they are — with curiosity, not condemnation. We have to trust that they can hold nuance, if we model it for them first.

The Question I'm Sitting With

Did the parent overreact? I think so — but I also think they're not alone. Most of us are navigating this without a map.

The real question isn't whether AI belongs in a child's life. It's whether we, as the adults in the room, are brave enough to learn alongside them.

Because the kids are already in the kitchen. The only question is whether we're going to help them cook — or just unplug the oven.

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Made by Sarah Pirie-Nally and Manus AI